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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24118381">hold me in your arms (don't let go)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoShipsLikePartnerships/pseuds/NoShipsLikePartnerships'>NoShipsLikePartnerships</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Pacific Rim (Movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>5+1 Things, Cuddling &amp; Snuggling, Fluff, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, M/M, Post-Movie: Pacific Rim (2013), Post-Movie: Pacific Rim: Uprising (2018), Pre-Canon, so many hugs, socialbreachfest2020</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 15:08:46</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,060</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24118381</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoShipsLikePartnerships/pseuds/NoShipsLikePartnerships</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The way they touch changes over time.</p><p>Mostly in small ways, at first—still giving each other space, but no longer making as much of an effort to distance themselves, either. Trying to be respectful, but offering comfort and encouragement when needed.</p><p>After their Drift, they hover close to one another, no longer hesitant, but like it's the most natural thing in the world to constantly be by each other's side, until one thing leads to another, and... well. Here they find themselves, in Hermann's bed. Newt's sprawled out beside him, dozing peacefully, while Hermann looks on, a little in awe, and very much in love.</p><p>(Or, five times Newt initiated physical contact, and one time that Hermann did)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Newton Geiszler/Hermann Gottlieb</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>81</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Social Breachfest 2020- Collected Fics</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>hold me in your arms (don't let go)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I actually starting working on this almost immediately after social breachfest was announced, so naturally I'm only finishing it the last day lol. </p><p>Just a heads up, the M rating is for the third section. I don't normally write those kinds of scenes, but once I had the idea I couldn't not write it. That being said, it might still read a bit awkward, so please be gentle with me. It's also my first 5+1 fic! I've been wanting to do one of these for a while, so this seemed like a good fit. So much touching! So many hugs! Let's all live vicariously through these two nerds for a while.</p><p>Title from 'Farewell' by UNKLE</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It's snowing harder than expected, the world outside the cafe blanketed in white.</p><p>Hermann, sitting at a small table right beside the window, looks out anxiously, then down at his watch. Newt isn't technically late, not yet, but Hermann worries that the weather will delay him. Or maybe he'll just change his mind about their meeting and not even bother. Perhaps he's reconsidered and already turned back—</p><p>He's so focused on these possible scenarios that he almost misses the sound of the chimes over the cafe door, as someone enters. Glancing over, Hermann sees a man his age, with thick glasses and a jacket that's surely too thin for how cold it is today. He recognizes him instantly.</p><p>It's Newt.</p><p>Brushing the snow off his shoulders, Newt looks around the cafe, eyes scanning the room. Hermann quickly rises from his chair with a little wave, and Newt smiles widely, heading over to join him.</p><p>Moving quickly, and before Hermann can even react, Newt throws his arms around him.</p><p>Hermann freezes, arms hanging loosely at his sides. He's in too much shock to do anything else. He expected, at most, a handshake in greeting, if even that.</p><p>It's not <em>unpleasant</em>, far from it, but to Hermann it feels... intimate, much too intimate for two people who are only just meeting for the first time, even if they have been writing each other for years. Hermann does not hug people, has hardly ever had occasion to, and certainly not in public. But it's <em>Newt</em>, and Hermann doesn't want to be impolite, so...</p><p>He slowly lifts his arms up, and hugs him back.</p><p>Newt seems to sense Hermann's discomfort, though, and pulls away, a sheepish look on his face. They stand awkwardly for a few seconds, before Newt mumbles something about going to order, and hurries over to the counter.</p><p>Hermann sits back down, internally panicking. Oh, he's ruined it, surely. But really, it isn't Hermann's fault that he was raised the way that he was—he has his father to thank for that—and at any rate, Americans act much too <em>familiar </em>with other people, anyway. How else was he meant to respond?</p><p>Newt returns with a hot chocolate for himself, and tea for Hermann (prepared exactly the way Hermann likes it), smiling a bit more shyly now. For a brief moment, Hermann thinks that he's overreacted, that they can still salvage this, that it will be <em>fine</em>.</p><p>Then Newt opens his mouth and starts talking. Things go downhill quickly from there, and end with both of them leaving the cafe in opposite directions. It'll be a long time before they see other again but, even in his disappointment, Hermann still holds on to the memory of being held by Newt.</p><p>It'll be a long time before he feels that again, too.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Newt walks into the lab and finds it empty.</p><p>No, scratch that, he quickly spots Hermann on the couch, at the far side of the room, looking completely miserable. Newt approaches, with a bad feeling.</p><p>"What's wrong?" he asks, apprehensive. Hermann barely glances at him, and waves in the direction of his computer. Newt goes over to it, and starts to read the email still displayed on the screen. "They're doing <em>what</em>?"</p><p>It's a notification that, effective immediately, the UN will be cutting funding to the Jaeger program, and directing it toward Lars Gottlieb's stupid Wall of Life project instead.</p><p>Their budget's already been cut down to practically nothing. They even had to let go of all of their lab technicians—it's literally just the two of them left. And now <em>this</em>. Normally, Newt would be seething, screaming and throwing things, marching straight to the Marshal's office and demanding to know <em>why</em>. But it's just such a punch to the gut that he can't even muster up the energy to do any of that.</p><p>Newt sits down heavily on the couch next to Hermann, feeling deflated. Defeated. <em>Fuck</em>.</p><p>The tanks of kaiju samples behind them cast a sickly green glow over the lab, as if rubbing it in.</p><p>Beside him, Hermann looks tired. Honestly, they're both pretty wrecked, at this point. Things have already been looking pretty grim, lately. What kind of chance do they stand now?</p><p>"I can't believe it," Newt says, shaking his head. "What were they thinking, those things are completely useless!"</p><p>When Hermann finally speaks, his voice is hoarse. "I tried. I <em>tried</em> to talk him out of it, but he... he's so <em>stubborn </em>and—"</p><p>"Hey, it's not your fault," Newt says, and puts a tentative hand on Hermann's shoulder.</p><p>Newt's never actually met Hermann's dad, but if he did, he's pretty sure it would end in Newt punching him. The guy sounds like a complete jerk, so it's really not surprising that he'd pull something like this.</p><p>Hermann leans forward, elbows propped up on his knees, and buries his face in his hands. Instinctively, Newt reaches forward and pulls him close. He feels Hermann tense, and remembers their first meeting, years ago.</p><p>"Sorry," he says quickly, "I forgot you don't like this sort of thing."</p><p>He starts to let go, but Hermann grips him tightly, keeping Newt in place.</p><p>"No, I... I just wasn't used to it. <em>Am</em> not used to it," he corrects himself. "Especially in public."</p><p>It takes Newt a second to understand what he means, and his heart breaks a little. "Oh."</p><p>"Please don't go."</p><p>"I won't," Newt reassures him, gently rubbing his back.</p><p>"Thank you, Newton," Hermann whispers, voice cracking as the last of his composure crumbles.</p><p>Newt rests his chin on top of Hermann's head. "Don't mention it."</p><p>He continues to hold him, and finds himself hating Hermann's dad for more than just the Wall.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>The way they touch changes over time.</p><p>Mostly in small ways, at first—still giving each other space, but no longer making as much of an effort to distance themselves, either. Trying to be respectful, but offering comfort and encouragement when needed.</p><p>After their Drift, they hover close to one another, no longer hesitant, but like it's the most natural thing in the world to constantly be by each other's side, until one thing leads to another, and... well. Here they find themselves, in Hermann's bed. Newt's sprawled out beside him, dozing peacefully, while Hermann looks on, a little in awe, and very much in love.</p><p>He never knew that it was possible to be this happy.</p><p>Newt opens his eyes, and greets him with a sleepy smile. "Hey, there."</p><p>Hermann smiles back. "Good morning."</p><p>Newt reaches out for him, squinting a little without his glasses on. Hermann catches Newt's wrist and pulls his hand closer, leaning down a bit to softly kiss his knuckles, before lacing their fingers together.</p><p>"C'mere, you," Newt says, and tugs at Hermann's hand. Hermann moves closer, about to lay his head on Newt's bare chest, then changes his mind. He rolls over and pulls Newt's arm around him.</p><p>"Like this."</p><p>Newt laughs softly. "You want to be the little spoon, huh?"</p><p>"Mm," Hermann nods, satisfied with this arrangement. Newt is so soft and <em>warm</em>, and makes a much better big spoon. He can feel Newt nuzzle against him, hair tickling his cheek, as Newt begins to plant little kisses on his shoulder and neck.</p><p>Soon after that, Hermann feels Newt's hands wander lower, and turns to look at him, eyebrows raised.</p><p>"Again already?" he teases. "I'm sorry, dear, but I still need a little longer to recuperate after last night. It appears that you've worn me out."</p><p>Being intimate with a Drift partner had been, to put it frankly, quite spectacular. With their connection still strong, every sensation was felt twofold, their pleasure magnified, until Hermann could no longer tell where either began and the other ended. They were one, in every sense of the word—mind, body, and spirit.</p><p>It was wonderful. It was exhilarating. It had also taken a lot out of him.</p><p>Newt grins, pleased with himself. "Take your time. We've got all day."</p><p>"Do we, now?" Hermann asks. He stretches out, the sheets pleasantly cool beneath his skin, and their shared heat.</p><p>"Yeah! I mean, come on, we saved the world. I think we can take a day off. We <em>deserve</em> a day off."</p><p>"Technically, Ms. Mori and Mr. Becket saved the world."</p><p>"But we helped! I believe you used the word <em>instrumental,</em>" Newt says, doing a terrible imitation of Hermann's accent. "That totally still counts."</p><p>"And what would you like to spend the day doing?"</p><p>Newt's grin widens suggestively.</p><p>They spend the day in bed, only getting up when absolutely necessary. Newt even sends a text to Tendo, asking him to leave a tray of food for them outside the door on his way back from lunch. Tendo agrees, but only on the condition that Newt not share any other details with him. Around noon, there's a very brief knock at the door, and the sound of footsteps quickly retreating.</p><p>With a smirk, Newt hops out of the bed, not bothering to put anything on first. Despite the fact that Hermann's already seen it all by now, he still finds himself blushing a little. Newt pulls the door open and grabs the tray, before shutting it again and returning with the food.</p><p>"Sustenance!" he announces with a flourish, setting the tray down between them. They'll certainly need it, if Newt expects to keep this up all day (and he does).</p><p>By the end of it, they're lying tangled together, breathing hard.</p><p>Newt's cheeks are flushed pink, and it makes his freckles stand out. Hermann wants to spend the rest of the day counting them all, wants to trace every line of those colourful tattoos, learn every inch of him by heart. In a way, he knows it already, thanks to the Drift.</p><p>Hermann has the Drift to thank for a good many things, but most of all for bringing them back together again.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Once the world goes back to normal, they finally go out on a proper date.</p><p>They decide to split the day in two: in the morning, Hermann takes Newt to the aquarium, and in the afternoon, Newt takes Hermann to the planetarium.</p><p>The aquarium's not too crowded, for obvious reasons—probably not too many people are excited about creatures that live underwater these days, which is fair. It does work out in their favor, though. Newt pulls Hermann along by the hand, excitedly pointing out the various sea life and telling Hermann all about them (to the annoyance of the guide, who's trying to lead a group of second-graders on a tour). Newt had been sure to ask ahead of time, and Hermann is okay with the hand-holding. He's actually gotten a lot more comfortable with PDAs recently.</p><p>Newt likes being able to show the world that they're together.</p><p>At the planetarium, it's Hermann's turn to lecture, much to Newt's amusement, as they end up running into the same group of students again. Just like in the lab, he uses his cane to point at the various displays, before launching into an explanation about each of them. When they're done checking out the exhibits, they file into the theatre for the main presentation. It's been a long time since Newt's been to one of these. Come to think of it, he was probably in grade school himself.</p><p>Leaning back in his seat, Newt looks up in wonder at the screen filled with images of outer space. The vast blackness of the universe stretches out over them, dotted with stars and worlds far beyond theirs.</p><p>"Wow," he breathes. "It's really something, huh?"</p><p>When Hermann doesn't reply, Newt turns his head to look at him. Even in the dark, he can see Hermann's eyes shining with tears. "Hey, what is it?"</p><p>"It's all so beautiful. And yet we'll never get to <em>know</em> all of it, not really. Certainly not in our lifetimes." He smiles, shaky and bittersweet. "I suppose it just... breaks my heart."</p><p>Hermann has a point. The universe is infinite, and who knows what secrets it holds. Too bad that the only things they know for sure are out there ended up being <em>awful</em> and almost ended the world, but Newt figures there's no need to point that out. They're both well aware.</p><p>Newt readjusts himself in his seat so that he's curled up against Hermann's side, head on his shoulder, as he returns his gaze to the night sky projected above them.</p><p>"You're right," he agrees, "there could be some amazing stuff out there. But there's some pretty amazing stuff down here, too."</p><p>"Yes," Hermann says, content, "yes there is."</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>The sky is a hard, steel grey, promising rain.</p><p>Hermann stares up at it, until the he spots the dark shape he's been waiting almost half an hour for.</p><p>The wind whips his hair as the PPDC helicopter lands. After a few moments, the handful of passengers disembark, and Hermann's face lights up as Newt finally emerges.</p><p>"Newton!"</p><p>Newt looks over and waves, slinging his duffel bag over one shoulder, and jogs over to him.</p><p>With the impending shuttering of the Shatterdome, Newt had been sent to oversee the relocation of the last kaiju samples, and conduct a few final experiments before his return. Hermann hadn't liked it—he was eager to be done with all of this—but he'd had his own business to see to here in Hong Kong, and had no choice but to stay and wait.</p><p>"Hey, sorry I'm a bit late," Newt says. "We hit some turbulence, it was pretty rough."</p><p>"I've missed you," Hermann blurts out.</p><p>"Aw, babe," Newt says fondly. "It's only been two weeks."</p><p>"I know, but... it felt longer."</p><p>Hermann never really used to miss physical contact, perhaps because he'd always been so used to the absence of it. At least, until he met Newt. Especially after the Drift, and after beginning their relationship, he finds it difficult now to be apart. He wonders if Newt felt the same thing while he was away.</p><p>Before he can ask, Newt winces a little, and Hermann frowns in concern. "Are you alright?"</p><p>"I'm fine," Newt says, dismissive. "Just a headache, probably from the altitude. Nothing a couple of aspirin and a night cuddling on the couch won't fix."</p><p>Hermann hovers anxiously by his side, until Newt grins and slings an arm around him. It's like being given a sip of water after being parched for weeks, and it's not <em>enough</em>. Hermann lets his cane fall onto the tarmac, and throws his arms around Newt, squeezing him tight. Newt squeaks a little in surprise at the intensity of it, and drops his bag.</p><p>"I thought you didn't do the whole... hugging in public thing."</p><p>"I don't care," Hermann mumbles against him. "I <em>missed</em> you."</p><p>"I missed you, too."</p><p>Hermann holds on to him, and wishes that it could last forever. Eventually, though, Newt gently pries himself out of his grasp.</p><p>"Come on," Newt says, bending down to grab his bag, and Hermann's cane, "let's get out of here."</p><p>Hermann takes the cane from him, and they walk together, almost shoulder to shoulder, back inside the base.</p><p>Looking back on it years later, if he had known what was coming, what was in store for them, Hermann never would have let go.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Newt stands awkwardly in the middle of the apartment.</p><p><em>Their</em> apartment, he reminds himself, though it feels kind of weird to think of it that way. "Now what?"</p><p>"Whatever you want," Hermann says gently. "You're home."</p><p>The words undo something deep inside of him, and Newt starts to cry.</p><p>Hermann's arms are around him immediately.</p><p>It's not the first time Newt's been hugged since getting his mind back—Hermann launched himself at him the first opportunity he had—but it still comes as a bit of a shock to his system. The Precursors had kept him pretty isolated the past decade, couldn't afford him getting too close to anyone and all that. They certainly kept him as far from Hermann as possible, until they couldn't anymore. He's missed this, being held by someone else. Being held by Hermann, specifically.</p><p>Still, there's always that lingering doubt, that Hermann's just staying with him out of some sense of obligation, or <em>guilt</em>. A small part of him wouldn't even mind if that was the case, as long as it means not being alone anymore.</p><p>"How can you... after everything I—"</p><p>"No. That wasn't you, that was <em>them</em>."</p><p>"Right," Newt says, nodding. Objectively, he knows this is true, but it doesn't hurt to have Hermann there to keep reminding him. And he will—he's done so dozens of times already, before Newt was even released.</p><p>Newt finally withdraws himself from the hug, wiping his eyes, and looks around the apartment. It seems so big, at least compared to what he was used to at the PPDC (both his old quarters, and the cell they kept him in).</p><p>The blinds are open, and the room is bathed in orange from the setting sun. Newt can't even remember the last time he saw a sunset. The Precursors used to keep him holed up in his lab at Shao Industries until well into the night, so it was always dark already by the time he left.</p><p>He'd almost forgotten how beautiful it could be.</p><p>Before he even realizes he's moving, Newt's tugging at the balcony door, and sliding it open. The cool breeze against his face makes him feel like he can <em>breathe</em> again.</p><p>"Newton?" Hermann's worried voice asks from behind him.</p><p>Newt feels a hand on his shoulder, and starts a little. He looks down at his own hands to see that they're clutching the railing.</p><p>"Can we stay out here?" he asks. "Just for a bit?"</p><p>"Of course."</p><p>There isn't any furniture on the balcony, so they make themselves as comfortable as they can sitting on the balcony itself. Newt lets his legs dangle between the bars.</p><p>"We should get some chairs to put out here," he finally says. "Maybe some plants, too."</p><p>"Whatever you want," Hermann repeats, squeezing his hand.</p><p>Somehow, impossibly, Newt already has what he wants. Anything else is just a bonus.</p><p>They sit outside together until the sun disappears into the horizon, and the sky turns dark, and all that remains are the stars.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>You can also find me on tumblr @chalkstardust and twitter @kaijublueberry</p></blockquote></div></div>
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